You know you're from Milan when...

- everyday you blame the traffic in the city
- everyday you take the car
- you know you have to add 10minutes to the times written on the bus stops
- Wednesday is the day of the MOM, even though you have never bought anything inside MOM
- at least once you've taken a sandwich at Le Luride and a beer in Rattazzo
-for every ten words you say, 'minchia' and 'feega' come out minimum three times
- you know that using the bike means risking your life
- actually you are proud of it
- if you hear Girls from Ipanema, you think at Boys from Comasina
- when you meet someone else from Milan, your first question is: 'Ma di Milano-Milano?'
- you hate pigeons and people who feed them
- you know exactly how not to be stopped by people who try to sell you bracelets or politics newspapers
- if you have to pay the rent of the apartment, probably you're not the happiest person in the world
- at least once you made some noise in Colonne because of Beck's Man
- Ausiliari del Traffico are your worst enemies
- every time you used to go to Le Fontanelle your main thought was not to break any glass
- during your high-school, Saturday was the demonstration-day in the morning and Fiera di Senigallia in the afternoon
- if you ride a bike or a scooter in Corso di Porta Romana your hands are gonna shake for 10minutes more because of the pavè
- at least once you have been woken up by L'Arrotino
- you wonder why they don't put lights in the Red and Green lines of the Metro
- you wonder why the announcement for the strikes of ATM seems to come from the moon
- you would prefer to meet Hannibal the Cannibal than go around Central Station in the night
- you would prefer to be poisoned than take a swim in the Navigli
- if you are a man, during the Fashion Week you are either very happy or very sad because of all the models in the city
- you don't understand why at the front office of 'international tickets' of the Central Station there're only Italian speakers
- if you take 90-91 or 95 in the night you're gonna be the only white person on the bus
- you hate all the tourists that make you wait in queue to have a panzerotto at Luini's
- you still don't understand why people come from other regions just to study at IULM
- no matter of blue, yellow lines and sidewalks: in the night you park your car where you find a place (if you find one) (and anyway also if you wanna pay, you don't know where to buy a ticket)
- you wonder why there's more police in Colonne on Saturday night than in the whole San Vittore
-when in the night the traffic-lights start to be intermittent, the 'law of the jungle' become
-if in the night you see a little light spot in the sky, you feel to see the stars
-you don't buy anything to drink in 'Todos a Cuba'. You just use it as a bathroom
-if you are the first car on a red traffic-light you should move with a reaction-time of 0.001sec if you don't want the other cars to horn to you
-you know it's easier to tame (domare) a tiger than conquer a posh girl from Milan
- you love and hate it, but anyway 'Milan l'è semper Milan'